Viral

Coworker thinks I am contagious.  I kid you not.

Today, a wonderful thing happened!  We are playing a game of musical cubicles (which even kind of rhymes!), and I got switched to a cubicle which is about as far away from Coworker as it is possible to be.  Coworker, however, is moving to my vacated space.

11:30am: I move first, taking all my stuff with me as quickly and efficiently as possible.  I even got to waste paid time because they didn't come to move my computer until about 1:30.

1:30pm: Other than getting a new monitor, which makes everything all fat and long because the screen is too wide, the move is very streamlined and barely noticeable.

1:45pm: Coworker, who has been eyeing my former workspace during the entire two hours that we've been waiting for my computer to be moved, finally gets to start her transplant.  What does she do first?  Not transfer boxes or files or supplies, but rather, she breaks out the heavy chemical cleaners.

2:00pm: Coworker is still sanitizing my previous desk, muttering, "Mess mess mess," under her breath.  Why she thinks this isn't noticeably offensive, I've no idea.

2:05pm: I break my own rule to write about how Coworker washed all traces of me off of her new desk, as if I can be caught like a deadly disease.  And let's face it, if Coworker ever caught my overactive imagination or OCD tendencies, she might actually spontaneously combust.  So I can't really blame her for spraying my essence away from her new desk.

Besides, I'm in a very generous frame of mind, since I am now working in a space that is Coworker-free.  From now on, there might be entire days where I don't have to interact with her at all!  Ah, blessed freedom!  Sweet poetic justice!  I will never again doubt that there is fairness left in the world.

In the meantime, it is now 2:09pm, and Coworker is still cleaning.  It is very possible that she won't stop cleaning until closing time.  Perhaps she'll descend into madness, attempting to clean off a germ that was never there to begin with...

And while she's cleaning herself into insanity, I am writing a condescending blog post.  The world seems right again.