Twitterpated

Here's what I know about technology: It's amazing, and it doesn't like me.

Granted, I might not be quite as deep into technology's dark side as BrownFriend, who systematically almost-sets things on fire when she attempts to negotiate with microwaves.  But technology and I are definitely frenemies-- the fact that I have not yet been p0wned by this website, even though I am writing only my fourth post, is a pretty fantastic thing.

I think we all get along differently with certain aspects of technology.  For instance, I can pop popcorn without reinforcements, unlike BrownFriend.  However, Facebook has made it abundantly clear that if I come around more than once or twice a month, something is going to explode.  Or, I can rock it all day in Microsoft Excel and Word, but I can't even find the 'on' button on a Mac (and they're supposed to be the easy computers).

Technology is often barbarized for its ability to be smarter than most of us.  This obviously stems out of fears of the Terminator or Matrix persuasion.  My personal fear is the GPS.  My fear is due to movies like iRobot and Eagle Eye, which plainly demonstrated to me that if you make a phone call on a land line, use any type of automated technology, or own a cell phone, they can find you.

Other types of helpful technology, however, do not scare me at all.  I am a huge advocate of external PCs and jump drives, which are incredibly efficient ways to make sure your extensive files do not get eaten by viruses (but I'm not bitter).

Something that remains constant about me is my belief in breaking even.  If something bad happens, something good is definitely on its way.  If something breaks, it'll get fixed or replaced.  Life goes in cycles, or so I opine, and if I get to choose, my life rides a tricycle.

This belief has been reinforced by my battles with technology.  GPS vs. jump drives, Macs vs. PCs, etc.  After Facebook tipped the scale, my theory was proved correct once again.  Facebook, say hello to Twitter.

Back when Facebook was still only for college kids (remember those days?), you could do basically two things.  You could write on someone's wall, or you could poke them.  That was pretty much it.  Sure, you could tag photos, and send messages, and create events, but really you just got on to interact with your friends.  If you're like me, you got on the first time and uploaded everything on your profile, then never touched it again.

Then things started... changing.  High schoolers could join.  Middle schoolers could join.  Dogs could join.  Moms could join.  And it wasn't just who was on Facebook, but it was also what!  The phenomenon of FarmTown held me prisoner for quite some time.  Pieces of flair, bumper stickers, and grafitti started popping up on people's walls.  Walls expanded, so I could no longer take over someone's wall by posting

one

word

at

a

time.

Facebook changed, and you could change with it or get left behind.

Before I knew it, they were getting sneaky about the changes.  One day, everything's fine.  The next, your profile and home page look completely different!  Where did everything go?  Why is everything weird?  What can I do to stop this?!

My breaking point came when I could no longer get on Facebook to do something without being interrupted by Facebook chat.  I wouldn't have minded so much, if it was ever not malfunctioning.  But since getting interrupted by Facebook chat usually meant my page was going to freeze, I was not exactly a happy camper.

Then, at a hockey game, the moment of magic occurred.  I realize that a hockey game is an odd setting for a magical moment to happen, but I swear it's the truth.  As a huge Predators fan, the JumboTron's declaration that I could get Predators updates to my phone naturally drew my attention.  The updates were sent through Twitter, a social networking site I had vowed never to join.

But the temptation to know exactly how my hockey team was doing at all times was far too great for me to bear.  I caved.  I signed up for Twitter.  Imagine my surprise and delight at the number of my friends who had also secretly joined!  PurpleFriend teased me relentlessly for months, but Twitter was worth it.

Twitter is like Facebook before it got all complicated.  You have a picture, a short description of yourself, and your Tweets.  The ability to express a complex thought in 140 characters is an art, which must be shaped and molded and nurtured.  It is beautiful.

What was even more beautiful was the day I discovered you can have Tweets sent to your phone.  Social networking to multiple people, simultaneously, without the involvement of a computer?  Laziness + Petty Amusement + Mobility = Bliss.

I expect that Twitter and I will get along very well in the coming years, in the same way that I expect Facebook to continue to despise me until the end of my days. 

Technology will continue to grow, continue to help us, and continue to scare us.  I hope that I will keep breaking even against it.  But I suspect that when I am an old woman, I will still be shaking my fist at Facebook.  I will still be Tweeting about all the drama.  And I will still be blocking BrownFriend from the microwave.

Some things never change.