Ding

Hi.  Guess what?  I hate my job.

One of the worst things about Responsible Adult Limbo is the fear.  The Fear.  The only one.  It's the fear that I will be stuck like this forever.

Don't get me wrong -- I am actually in a fantastic place, life-wise!  I have an apartment, two cats, a working car, a loving family, crazy friends, health, and (usually) enough money to get by.  That is a pretty kick-awesome setup right there.

But it's also sort of the root of the problem.  You see, in order to keep most of those things, I must maintain a steady income.  The way I maintain a steady income is through my terrible job.  If I lose my terrible job, or relinquish it for any reason, my income will vanish, and all those things will follow my income.  Well, most of those things.  I hope my family and friends are not sticking around because of my money.  That would suck.  Also, it wouldn't make sense.  But more than being nonsensical, it would really suck.  A lot.

I guess I should clarify a couple of things.  My job is actually a pretty sweet gig, if you're looking from the outside in.  I am a full-time temp at a corporation that manages prisons, which always makes for interesting conversation starters.  I get paid a very respectable hourly wage, with a regular full-time schedule, which also makes for interesting conversation bulk.  However, what I am doing for forty hours every week is pretty much the most boring thing it is possible to do in this business: I process paperwork, which makes for a perfect conversation killer.

Specifically, I process applications.  Applications for prisoners who want to come to our prisons, you may ask?  No.  That would be interesting and kind of entertaining.  I process applications for employment with the various prisons we run across the country.  I make sure that each applicant applying in a 'Correctional Officer' job code has completed a scored InSight.  If so, do we have a copy of said InSight?  If so, do we have the pass code and numerical score marked on the checklist?  If so, were they interviewed?  If not, why not?  If a person indicates on their resume that they helped to raise two horses recovered from abusive homes, is that relevant?  If not, why in the world did they include that on their resume?  Blah blah blah blah blah, you are so bored, I know it.

But there are more reasons not to like it than just that it is boring.  While that is a hefty percentage of the reason I don't like it, there are other factors that apply.  One of those things is the whole office setting.  Dude, if I could work from home, this job would still be boring, but way less stressful.  People in an office setting clearly have nothing to do but create drama in the workplace.

Take for example, all my troubles with Coworker.  Now that Supervisor is back, I haven't had a single blip on that radar screen, but how long will that last?  Do I arm myself for defensive purposes, or will that be perceived as preparation for attack?  Do I have any allies?  Working in an office is like being involved in an ongoing, life-sized game of Risk.  Except you don't get any back-moves at the end of your turn.

Also, establishing a reputation as a diligent employee, while beneficial in the long-run, can be incredibly annoying in the short term.  I am way too observant, and also OCD.  So a job like this one, where attention to details is what gets you ahead, is perfect for me.  I apparently excelled within my first several weeks.  In addition to the fact that their last temp had been a real bust, I picked up all the duties in the job description very quickly.

So, when they ran out of normal jobs for me to do, they started busying me with the jobs no one else would do.  It started with simple things like archiving, labeling, etc.  But it ended with the fiasco of Adams: a new facility no one else had yet processed, with so many errors that it took me two weeks to get through just one month of applications (as opposed to the two days it takes to do a normal facility).  After I had spent most of my employment processing this pathetic batch of applications, I was told that my efforts had made it clear that Adams needed more help than we could give them.  Therefore, they would be sending all the applications back to the facility, for processing there.  But thanks for your time.

Those are just a few of the reasons that this job is killing me slowly.  If I was the victim in a game of Clue, I could give you the solution right now: It was the job, in the office, with the figurative strichnine.

Experience has taught me that languishing away in a job you hate is like making the downward spiral a water-slide.  When it looks fun and it feels fun, it must actually be fun!  And it will be fun all the way until you hit the rocks at the bottom.  Except now, not only is your bum smarting, but you're also kind of drowning.  Should have had a little foresight.

Now that I am on an upward climb, I am thinking about other jobs I might pursue, whenever I decide I am in a position to do that safely.  Since I am still paying off my EMSLs, going back to school isn't really an option, unless someone wants to throw money at me to do it (and considering my GPA, that isn't likely to happen).  So these jobs I think up are going to have to require nothing more than a high school diploma.

Other than my dream jobs -- archaeology, linguist, and best-selling author -- I haven't ever given much thought to another job I might like.  So when I sat down to think about it, the first job I thought of was to be a Flight Attendant.

I love to fly and I love to travel.  I have pretty much accepted that any job I take is going to require that I interact with people somehow (boo...), so I was willing to casually ignore the little bit about the service industry.

I started doing research.  You don't need any education beyond a high school degree.  Any specialized training they want to give you would come during a 3 to 6-week training session after you've been hired.  An average flight attendant flies for two days, and then gets a rest period of three or more days.  There are height guidelines, but at 5'9", I fit snugly in the middle.  And they give special consideration to people, like me, who speak multiple languages fluently.

Now I was excited about the idea.  I sent out a Tweet: "What if... I became a flight attendant?  Discuss."

Amazingly, my friends were not as certain of my career choice as I had been.  GreenFriend reminded me of that point I had brushed off -- being stuck on a plane with people who don't love to travel as much as I do.  Grumble.  But she was just one friend.  Surely my other friends would back me up.

However, BlueFriend and PurpleFriend shared GreenFriend's opinion.  PurpleFriend brought up the hours I would be working, mentioning that even the most die-hard travelers had trouble with a flight attendant's heavy schedule.  BlueFriend made me realize that I might have to work from a different base city, especially if I was going to be doing a lot of international flights.  And then Mom pointed out that I would have to do something with my cats whenever I was gone.

My happy little balloon deflated.  Being a flight attendant was no longer an option.

I decided that I should just find a better job, which would leave me with enough time and money to travel whenever I want to.  Then I could fly and travel in the luxury and comfort of a regular passenger, without the worries of taking care of other people, some of whom shouldn't be allowed to travel at all.

Of course, that pretty much leaves my dream jobs -- archaeologist, linguist, or best-selling author.  I am working on a few projects regarding the best-selling author one.  But I need a back-up.  I need something to cover my expenses until I hit paydirt with my Great American Novel, which will be poignant yet comical, will span generations, and will be used as a subject in future English classes.

I am keeping my options open.  Until I finish that amazing future classic, the dreams of living in a lighthouse and/or castle with GreenFriend doing nothing but reading, writing, and having a blast until the end of my days will have to be put on hold.  For now, I still have to find a job that would be an acceptable replacement for this one.  One which would not poison me slowly.

But until I find that job, all flights out of Responsible Adult Limbo have been cancelled due to storms.